Saturday, November 6, 2010

Bah, Humbug

There's a lot to hate about Christmas--you spend money you don't have, you get crap you don't want, you have to lie to your kids about some fat guy who gives you presents, people push Hallmark shit on you you have out for a couple of weeks and for the rest of year just takes up precious storage space and the whole thing is wrapped up in a bunch of false cheer. And if you express any of this out loud, you're labeled by polite society as horrible person. I'm not ashamed--I am a horrible person. I don't like dogs either.

But what I hate most of all about Christmas is the recent "It's ok to say Merry Christmas" campaign. Really? People who say Merry Christmas are oppressed? There's a danger that holiday spirit is gonna be crushed? People are hunting elves? People aren't out there right now hiring engineers from MIT to set up their neon Mary and Baby Jesus displays?

Well, apparently there's a liberal plot out there to wipe out this pagan holiday. I wish I could join up, but all I can find is people who want to declare war on Happy Holidays.

While I haven't looked all that hard, I wasn't able to find any websites for the enemies of Christmas. Maybe there's a hate Christmas group on facebook, but I can't find it. (A lot of people do hate Justin Bieber though. I think there very well may be a war on Justin Bieber.) And the defenders of Christmas seem to need enemies more than they need candy canes. So this year, I'm going to try to get into the spirit of this pagan holiday. So, my gift to the world is I will become the enemy of Christmas these people so desperately want.

Happy Holidays.